Moving drama

Most days I'm not sure how to get back to myself. Everyone seems so overwhelmed with their own life that I find myself lost in my thoughts. My thoughts of moving mainly... I worry that living in someone else's space will continue to make me feel that there is not enough space for me. That I don't have room to grow. I'm afraid I'll feel claustrophobic like I do now living with my actual family. And then again maybe I won't. It would be nice to live in a big house. It would be nice to have the sense of family, and maybe it would be different if it wasn't my family. Maybe I could learn to live simply. Open myself to the idea that I don't need so much space. There is plenty of common space. And yet I feel myself greatly resisting the idea. Finding myself running against a large pole of resistance. Why... because I think I want to prove I am independent. Instead of flowing in community I want to hide under a rock. Instead gellin' with people I get grumpy and isolate myself. Can I truly open myself up to this experience. I'm unsure and unclear.